The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.

I don't understand why people don't remember my name.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.