I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.

It’s like someone who prays every night saying God’s a good listener. Just because you’re talking to us doesn’t mean we’re listening. With me and God, you never really know.

And when they start talking, and they always do, you find that each of them has a story they want to tell. Everyone, no matter how old or young, has some lesson they want to teach. And I sit there and listen and learn all about life from people who have no idea how to live it.

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

If Tolstoy were alive today and working at Panopticon Insurance, he'd say that all insurance companies are the same, then throw himself through an eighteenth story window and plunge to his death in a hail of glass and shattered dignity" (70).

I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.