Times are hard and friends are few

I dont live with people, thats why my relationships last. Im not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand Id say, - no, its not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you.

I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show.

Noel Coward said work is more fun than fun, but then he didn't work in the Bird's Eye factory packing frozen fish fingers nine hours a day, did he?

What was I drinking last night? Furniture polish?

I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals.

I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable.