There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.