I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name and apparently that's the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed.