I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.

I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.

When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.

I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility.