President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Paula PoundstoneMy Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
Paula PoundstoneWhen every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out.
Paula PoundstoneI'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.
Paula Poundstone