I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading the same page. My guess is, I would've read, like the first page of Nicholas Nickleby over and over again.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

The pleasure of the mulch pile is incomprehensible. I wouldn't care if they just hauled the mulch to the landfill somewhere. Obviously, grass clippings are biodegradable, but when they're bunched together at the landfill, they become badly influenced by other garbage.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.