I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it.

The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

I was court-ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous on television. Pretty much blows the hell out of the second A, wouldn't you say?

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.