When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name and apparently that's the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess.

I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.