The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

You know, in politics when you come in third, it's a win.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

If only someone would do for cows what Bambi did for deer. Cows have been in films, but they haven't starred. I'm still willing to eat a species that is only a supporting player.