There was something immensely comforting, I found, about a crumpet - so comforting that I've never forgotten about them and have even learned to make them myself against those times when I have no other source of supply.

Like a chastity belt, the package tour keeps you out of mischief but a bit restive for wondering what you missed.

It is always a taut moment in a foreign country waiting to see if your English-speaking guide speaks English.

This wild emaciated look appeals to some women, though not to many men, who are seldom seen pinning up a Vogue illustration in a machine shop.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

forgetting things is what gives old age a bad name, that and old age.

There are worse things than being fat, and one of them is worrying about it all the time.