My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.

Having a Hummer is stupid. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to waste that much money on gas. It's stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid-looking.

Cheerios bring back memories. I actually don't think I ate them much as a kid, though; maybe it's some sort of Jungian memory, I don't know. But they have so much sugar, it's great.

No one can tell you the rules of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' No one. Donald Trump just does what he wants, which is mostly pontificating to people who are sucking up to him, while the network people try to manipulate him into making the highest-rated show they can.

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

Atheism is the absence of religion. We don’t really need atheism. We just need to get rid of religion.

For the most part, any serious magic show is not using very much technology newer than theatrical lights.