Magic is the Special Olympics of entertainment.

People like Bill Maher, who brags about being a cynic, it sickens me. I am the least cynical person I know, and I am very, very skeptical.

In my private life, I'm not around any drugs or alcohol.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

We are only here for a little while, and our bodies belong to ourselves and no one else.

My whole family is missing that sports gene. I hope I didn't screw that up by marrying a great golfer.

World War II proves there's no God.