Better to be uneducated than educated by your government.

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him.

One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality. That is the subject that, if you have a brain in your head, is always dealt with in magic. The smarter the tricks you're doing, the more that' s an important thing.

'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

Jay-Z, he knows precisely who he's going for - 14-year-old white suburban girls.

If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'

A famous monk once said, I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you.