Counterintuitive action makes a fellow feel smart.

I had e-mail in 1984! I had an e-mail address then, which means that all you could write to was Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. There were three of us, writing to each other.

You can't stop insane people from doing insane things with insane laws. That's insane!

In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed.

Never ascribe to conspiracy that which can be attributed to ignorance.

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

We celebrities are desperate pigs.