A two-party system is way too good for those two parties.
Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, 'That's nice.'
How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do.
Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.
I think people under age 55 come to Vegas with a certain sense of irony.
The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.