The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

A politician is a man who can be verbose in fewer words than anyone else.

Love's blindness consists oftener in seeing what is not there than in seeing what is.

If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

How do you expect mankind to be happy in pairs when it is miserable separately?

We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other.