I can never forgive God for having invented the French

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.

Did you know that every two hours the nations of this world spend as much on armaments as they spend on the children of this world every year?

Irrespective of nationality, soldiers are always open to the same discomfort and to the same comradeship the world over. I'll make things easy for you if you make things easy for me. That is, after all the unwritten law of the barracks.

I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.

Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.

Men think about women. Women think about what men think about them