I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter.

American democracy is the inalienable right to sit on your front porch, in your pyjamas, drinking a can of beer and shouting out 'Where else is this possible?' Which doesn't seem to me to be freedom, really.

I am an international citizen conceived in Russia, born in England, working in Hollywood, living in Switzerland, and touring the World.

Flogging. The only solution to every problem. I warrant even the culprit himself doesn't know! It was just... his... turn!

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

I can never forgive God for having invented the French

By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door.