Laughter... the most civilized music in the world.

I'm Rally of Unionist Separist Extremes, sometimes known as the R.U.S.E. … It's the party at present in power.

People are annoyed with the Chinese for not respecting more human rights. But with a population that size it's very difficult to have the same attitude to human rights.

Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.

Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them.

At the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords we're all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.