A mother is only as happy as her saddest child.
You need to face the pain and the fear and walk through the Grief.
Awareness without action is worthless.
You do not HAVE to be angry just because you have the right to be angry.
Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you're not going to get anywhere.
I think you're running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, 'Brace yourself honey, here I come!'