Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.

Do you work in a strip club?

If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?

I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield.

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

It makes you all look like Dracula's daughters!