Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.

It seems to me that it's the best way of wasting money that I know of. I don't think investments on the moon pay a very high dividend.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

The bastards murdered half my family.