It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university.

Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.

This could only happen in a technical college.

People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.

Do you still throw spears at each other?

That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?