It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

I therefore suggested that WWF should invite leaders from the major religions to meet together to discuss what - if any - responsibility they felt they had for the natural environment as a "sacred" entity.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

You managed not to get eaten then?

It seems to me that it's the best way of wasting money that I know of. I don't think investments on the moon pay a very high dividend.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.