Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.

While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated, it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.

Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): "What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit?

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.