For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

I am the last of Britain's stately homos.

To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

Europeans have quarrelled since the beginning of time.