You can't be a person and a lady. If you're a person, you can open the damned door yourself.

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.

It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.

I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?

What matters is not whether you put your fork or knife together because you've finished your meal, or something like that. What matters is that you don't offend people, or hurt their feelings by mistake by saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.

People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.