Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.

The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.

It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions.

Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes.

You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.

Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.

Being prepared for loss is never the same as being ready for it.