At least I can write.

I've never dreamed of a story idea. I have such boring dreams.

I guess I'm way too kind and generous, and a saint - if you can believe that!

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning.

Well, I hate it when authors come into a school and they say to kids, 'Write from your heart, only write what you know, and write from your heart.' I hate that because it's useless. I've written over 300 books - not one was written from my heart. Not one. They were all written for an audience, they were all written to entertain a certain audience.

I feel happy to terrify kids.

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.'