It's not the loving that hurts this girl; it's the understanding of it for what it is, that it will never be returned in the same way, that threatens to destroy her. But to unload the words - "I love you" - on an innocent party who didn't ask for it, to reach across the dark space and touch him - it's like the world she knows could end if she dared speak these words, dared make such a move.
Rachel CohnThere was no word in the dictionary adequate to describe the sensation other than sensational.
Rachel CohnI deciced if I were ever to get into booze and women, my line would be, 'Excuse me, madam, but I would really love to bed and muss you. . . . Are you perchance free this evening?
Rachel CohnNick and I could become goodwill ambassadors for the city now that the porno shops on 42nd Street are gone. Must make mental note to contact mayor.
Rachel CohnBut I know the difference. Everyone else is a ghost. I exist here alone, stranded by choice. Deserted.
Rachel CohnI am stronger than words and I am bigger than the box I'm in, and then I see her in the crowd and I fall apart -I am listening and I am listening because what I'm playing isn't something I'm thinking about, it's something I'm feeling all over.
Rachel CohnWhen is the night over? Is it the start of sunrise or the end of it? Is it when you finally go to sleep or simply when you realize that you have to?
Rachel CohnIt's a total lie to say there's only one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. If you're lucky - and if you try really hard - there will always be more than one.
Rachel CohnWe are the ones who take this thing called music and line it up with this thing called time. We are the ticking, we are the pulsing, we are underneath every part of this moment. And by making the moment our own, we are rendering it timeless. There is no audience. There are no instruments. There are only bodies and thoughts and murmurs and looks. It's the concert rush to end all concert rushes, because this is what matters. When the heart races, this is what it's racing towards.
Rachel CohnThe best is when we all go at once, like an army of interrelated popcorn zombies who laugh the same laughs and gasp the same gasps and arenโt so germ-phobic with each other that we wonโt share a ginormous Coke with one straw. Family is useful like that.
Rachel CohnIt's bullshit to think of friendship and romance as being different. They're not. They're just variations of the same love. Variations of the same desire to be close.
Rachel CohnWe all just took the bookstore at its word, because if you couldn't trust a bookstore, what could you trust?
Rachel CohnListen to me: I never married because I was too easily bored. It's an awful, self-defeating trait to have. It's much better to be too easily interested.
Rachel CohnI thought about the bigger picture of my life, and about the peopleโand particularly the guysโI would encounter during my lifetime. How would I ever know when that moment was right, when expectation met anticipation and formed โฆ connection?
Rachel CohnI walked inside Macyโs and faced the pathetic spectacle of a department store full of shoppers, none of whom were shopping for themselves. Without the instant gratification of a self-aimed purchase, everyone walked around in the tactical stupor of the financially obligated.
Rachel CohnI was horribly bookish, to the point of coming right out and saying it, which I knew was not socially acceptable.
Rachel CohnWho else would find me at just this moment? First he found me drunk, now he found me cleaning up poo from a barking pony who was about to go into attack mode.
Rachel CohnPrayer or not, I want to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, it is possible for anyone to find that one special person. That person to spend Christmas with or grow old with or just to take a nice silly walk in Central Park with. Somebody who wouldn't judge another for the prepositions they dangle, or their run-on sentences, and who in turn wouldn't be judged for the snobbery of their language etymology inclinations.
Rachel CohnDo you want to guess what's in here?" I asked Dash. "I think I've got it figured out already. There's a new supply of red notebooks in there, and you want us to fill them in with clues about the works of, say, Nicholas Sparks." "Who?" I asked. Please, no more broody poets. I couldn't keep up. "You don't know who Nicholas Sparks is?" Dash asked. I shook my head. "Please don't ever find out," he said.
Rachel CohnI could become a nun even if I am a non-believer. I'll learn to fake it like Nick did with me. I will minister the gospel of compassion and kindness and please, always use a condom, from famine-stricken nations to war-torn dead zones. It's possible I might become a nun who kisses other nuns.
Rachel Cohn