This one guy's wife is such a pretty brown thing, that I'm liable to give her a poke or two. Whaddaya think of that?

This is the Republican Party who has run against Russia for 80 years and you know, (Trump) hasn't mentioned (Putin) except in a positive way.

Some fools in the desert with nothing to do...invented me, and they invented you. And other fools keep it all going and growing. Everybody, we're a figment of their imagination.

If getting on the radio was a major motivation, I'd be one of the worst writers of all time. I admire people who do it, and I think it's a nice way to work, but I try to do the best I can and write what I like. I don't worry about it.

But if you're doing something, show up everyday, and something good might happen - it's not going to happen if you don't show up.

I've often written about places that are totally different from anything I know. Sometimes they turn out better.

I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.