Ugly problems often require ugly solutions. Solving an ugly problem in a pure manner is bloody hard.

I actually hate programming, but I love solving problems.

PHP is rarely the bottleneck.

I'm not a real programmer. I throw together things until it works then I move on. The real programmers will say Yeah it works but you're leaking memory everywhere. Perhaps we should fix that. I'll just restart Apache every 10 requests.

I don't know how to stop it, there was never any intent to write a programming language [...] I have absolutely no idea how to write a programming language, I just kept adding the next logical step on the way.

There are people who actually like programming. I dont understand why they like programming.

I've never thought of PHP as more than a simple tool to solve problems.