Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!

Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

Noah's wife, who said to Noah, Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits. Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!