Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!

Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!