The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!

Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!

Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!

Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!