Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!

Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!