Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!

Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!