Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!

Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!