Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!

Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!

Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner!

Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!