I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

I'm convinced that Sanford and Son shows middle-class America a lot of what they need to know.

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.

I've been trying to get into the Royal Box in New York for years. They say I'm too dirty, my material is too blue. But I think Redd, the whites and blue can be a nice combination.

Certain things should be yours to have when you work your way to the top.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.