When people are against profits they're against business; when they're against business, they're against employment; when they're against employment, it's not surprising that a large number of them are unemployed.

When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!

People are like birds - from a distance, beautiful: from close up, those sharp beaks, those beady little eyes.

I used to look down on the world for being corrupt, but now I adore it for the utter magnificence of that corruption.

Lovely girls are terribly insecure. They are convinced that their legs are too thick, and their bottoms are too big, and their bosoms are too small. They are conviced that their nose is the wrong shape, that their ears stick out, and that their eyes are too close together. They need a man who will tell them they are exactly right as they are. They do not believe him, but they need to hear it said.

God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers and severely by answering them.

Power is a drug on which the politicians are hooked. They buy it from the voters, using the voters' own money.