God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers and severely by answering them.

When people are against profits they're against business; when they're against business, they're against employment; when they're against employment, it's not surprising that a large number of them are unemployed.

The ghastly thing about postal strikes is that after they are over, the service returns to normal.

When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.

People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.

I used to look down on the world for being corrupt, but now I adore it for the utter magnificence of that corruption.