People are like birds - from a distance, beautiful: from close up, those sharp beaks, those beady little eyes.

I used to look down on the world for being corrupt, but now I adore it for the utter magnificence of that corruption.

Power is a drug on which the politicians are hooked. They buy it from the voters, using the voters' own money.

When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.

Love is a fever which marriage puts to bed and cures.

God punishes us mildly by ignoring our prayers and severely by answering them.