God is the great janitor of the universe. Why things don't work is that we have a janitor in charge, and we keep looking for the landlord.

Twenty percent? What am I, your waiter? I got you five vampires, not a BLT.

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins.

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence. Or insanity.

Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)