I don't see myself getting married again, but if I do, it will be forever.

If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.

I know that if I wasn't scared, something's wrong, because the thrill is what's scary.

When you're running down the street on fire, people get out of your way!

I urge you to ask yourself just how honorable it is to preside over the abuse and suffering of animals.

It's so much easier for me to talk about my life in front of two thousand people than it is one-to-one. I'm a real defensive person, because if you were sensitive in my neighborhood you were something to eat.

Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.