One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've changed your life by saying, "Farewell to Fat".

Puberty for me was graduating from Thousand Island salad dressing to Caesar salads. It was like going from hot dogs and hamburgers to beef stroganoff, or from ice cream in a cone to creme brulee.

I took desperate measures to lose weight and did terrible things to myself. I went from diet pills to thirty laxatives a day to throwing up.

I don't know about you, but every time some joker points me out as I walk through an airport wearing extra-small Dolfin shorts, a tank top and leg warmers, I get a little upset.

Ninety percent of people who lose weight gain it back. It's very sad.

I'm the clown you take out of the box and wind up when you need a good laugh. And then, when you're done with me, I go back in my box.

When I go to bed at night, I ask God to give me another day; I ask him to keep me strong and make me a good teacher and to keep spreading this right word.