Puberty for me was graduating from Thousand Island salad dressing to Caesar salads. It was like going from hot dogs and hamburgers to beef stroganoff, or from ice cream in a cone to creme brulee.

Thats what we need going into the millennium. We need some positive, happy stuff.

I'm the clown you take out of the box and wind up when you need a good laugh. And then, when you're done with me, I go back in my box.

You can say anything you want to say about me. But don't you dare address overweight people with terrible names and ugly remarks. That is what upsets me.

I could be hit by a Sara Lee truck tomorrow. Which is not a bad way of going: 'Richard Simmons Found in a Freeway in Pound Cake and Fudge, With a Smile on His Face.' Let's face it. We don't know anything.

Every day after school, for three hours a day, I would sell those pralines on the street corner. I was just eight years old. I'd bring the money home to my parents and say, "This is just the beginning."

I don't have to teach anymore, I don't have to work anymore, God has been really good to me.