I write the story that nobody reads. Someday, I'm going to write it in German to see if anyone notices.

A man is more than his failings.

Never let anyone tell you sports doesn't matter. Never let them tell you it's all about the wins, the losses and the stats. Sports is so much more than that.

The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.

It's people stories that make good reading. I don't feel like I'm a sportswriter. I feel like I'm a guy who writes about people who happen to do sports. The best columns are the ones where you tie it somehow into the fabric of the country.

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

I was a terrible Sugar Babies addict, so I had more cavities than the surface of the moon.