The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember when your average NFL player would come to the sideline, spit out three bicuspids, Scotch-tape his humerus together and get back out there.

Exactly how intricate a sport is jogging? You were two years old. You ran after the cat. You pretty much had it mastered

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

Im afraid Wisconsin is you, Nebraska, only with much better parties and more wins.

A man is more than his failings.

It's people stories that make good reading. I don't feel like I'm a sportswriter. I feel like I'm a guy who writes about people who happen to do sports. The best columns are the ones where you tie it somehow into the fabric of the country.