The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.
Im afraid Wisconsin is you, Nebraska, only with much better parties and more wins.
A man is more than his failings.
I write the story that nobody reads. Someday, I'm going to write it in German to see if anyone notices.
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.
Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember when your average NFL player would come to the sideline, spit out three bicuspids, Scotch-tape his humerus together and get back out there.