Funny bones, to me, are more important than funny lines. If a comedian is just not likable and doing the lines, you could read them yourself. Whereas if someone [you like] shambles out, and they tell you what a bad day they've had, they don't have to say anything. I love them. I want to hug them because they've been through something. And it comes back to empathy, always empathy.

The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth.

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't know they could until now.

I've got the attention span of a child.

Daniel Day-Lewis would play me as a baby. He can do anything. Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt are fighting out for me now. And Meryl Streep will play me after the sex change. I haven't told you about that, have I?