Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

You want to see the people you've sort of come to know and love, or love to hate, you want to see them develop in some way. And I hope people get sort of caught up in that arc.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

I think what makes us human is those choices - whether to tell the truth or not.

I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't know they could until now.

The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself.