Piracy doesn't kill music, boy bands do.

We didn't evolve; God made us. So I just want to explain to you exactly how that happened... Some of the things you'll hear do sound a little bit far-fetched. I admit that. Then I found out that the other name for The Bible is The Gospel, so it is all true. Luckily, the clue is in the title.

I think what makes us human is those choices - whether to tell the truth or not.

Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. Some people are offended by mixed marriage, gay people, atheism. So what? F*** 'em.

There's a difference between a job and a career - if you're the boss you don't stop at six o'clock, you have to worry about everything all the time.