A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

I don't do anything for the money.

I use people's real voices because I want realism. So often I mention the actors' physicality because I want it to be like a real documentary.

I've got the attention span of a child.

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

The world is not entirely comic and it's not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything - TV, film or anything I do - the writing is the most valuable commodity.